The Left Behind Women

There’s been quite a bit across media on ‘Left Behind Women’ recently, we thought we’d collect a few pieces and perspectives here which we found interesting or made us laugh.

It’s well known that there are many more males than females in China, yet rather than being in demand, there are still a leftover set of females unable to find a husband – or unwilling to choose from what’s on offer.

A post originally on Southern Metropolis Daily but also featured on EastSouthWestNorth and 88 Bar contained a great set of photos to highlight this. You can see more vignettes on the photographers website, but here’s a couple of our favourites and the ‘full cast.’

There’s also been some chat online about the types of attitudes people are taking – both a cause and effect in post-80′s men and women.

Cao Shi Nan (Grazing Boys)

This word originally came from Japan, it refers to post-80′s men. They don’t chase for love or girls proactively and their attitude to girls and love is lukewarm.

Cao Shi Nan have many female friends because they are gentle and friendly, but they don’t want to pay attention to romantic things like gifts. They prefer to spend time with family and friends rather than be with a ‘girlfriend.’

Why are there more and more ‘Grazing Boys?’

• The world has changed quickly, and the many uncertainties in life give them a lack of confidence and passion. They feel many things can’t be controlled by themselves, love is one of those things.
• Secondly, economic pressure is too much for them; living cost keep rising. Affording a house, car and other necessities they view as a pre-requisite for marriage are beyond their means.
• They’ve got a fear of love in general – they think if you chase for girls proactively, it will bring lots of troubles and even hurt in the end.
• They think, “ It’s good you love me but it’s fine you not. “ So  when you have a grazing boy as boyfriend, expect to feel the relationship sits somewhere between friendship and love.

Rou Shi Nu (Girls of Prey )

Another word originally from Japan, these girls chase for men very proactively. They seek after freedom and personality. They think everyone is equal in front of love. Once they find the target, they will just chase for him like a hungry tiger, without a care about what others think about them.

Their personality is open-minded and active. They dare to love and hate. Their attitude is very positive. The more setbacks they experience, the braver they become.

Whilst the ‘Grazing Boys’ are internally dubious, the ‘Girls of Prey’ are considerably more active…

• As more and more men are Cao Shi Nan – the girls have to be more pro-active to find a boyfriend.
• Girls are becoming  stronger both in work and family. They are more decisive in their careers and relationships. They want to control their lives, do what they like to do and pick their potential husband.
• Thirdly, there are more and more 3S ladies these days. Some of them become more aggressive with their age rising. They approach men more actively.

And as the generation of post-90′s women who tend to be more open-minded and more influenced by Western styles grow-up, we can expect to see more rou shi nu.

Finally, we noticed this funny set of criteria that women have for choosing men as they get older – it may or may not be true, but it certainly made us giggle.

This post was written by Hidi.

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This entry was posted on Monday, May 17th, 2010 at 11:40 pm. It is filed under China and tagged with featured, relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.